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  • Kelly Stone

Mom-Sucking Virus


I remember this old commercial where a whole family gets sick but they’re quickly healed when Mom saves them all with the magic of Robitussin. Mom has the kids as well as dad waiting in the hallway and calls them each into a bedroom one-by-one as she says “Neeeext” and waves a bottle of Robitussin (and a kitchen spoon if I remember correctly). The tagline of the commercial says, “Recommended by Dr. Mom.” Do you guys remember that commercial? It’s funny cuz I always believed that that commercial was about the incredible power contained within that tablespoon of cough syrup and not about the uncanny abilities that moms possess where they somehow manage to take care of themselves AND their tribe. Moms can’t get sick. Moms can’t be tired. Moms can’t be weak. Moms still have to make dinner and draw cool baths and be comforting and remember each medicine’s dose per age and weight of child and which times the meds were administered and each drug’s length of time between doses, and she must decipher what’s really going on through a child’s description of their yucky feelings. It’s a lot to handle. Especially when you’re not the nurse-type. And especially WHEN YOU ARE FRIGGIN’ SICK YOURSELF! Being sick suuuuuuuucks. It sucks for everyone. It’s the worst when you have a sick kid. I mean, gosh, it absolutely breaks my heart when my babies are sick, and I want to do whatever I can to help them feel all better. It’s double worse to have two sick kids. And it’s 5 times as worse when mom and two kids are sickies. BLEH! My apartment is currently a biohazardous-toxic-viral-petri-dish of mouth-breathing cuddles, fever essence, used Kleenex mounds, and pukey bit residue, but I am on the upswing! I even took a shower! My cough has turned productive, and I’m celebrating that these chest boogers are working their way out through my face with every hack. Wahoo! I’m on the mend! The babies are too. They even rode their bikes today for the first time in 5 days. Whew! I’ve got to be healthy. I don’t have a choice. I have two little boys that depend on me for EVERYTHING! That’s exhausting enough as it is…packing lunches, helping with (too much daily) homework, reminding to brush teeth, chauffeuring, cooking, reading, laundry, picking up toys, mitigating melt-downs, explaining why we don’t litter, prepping snacks, setting boundaries with screen time, shopping…and…and…none of those duties/roles/expectations are salaried! NONE. OF. THEM. So, on top of mothering, I have to sustain some level of financial stability to buy food, medicine, energy, clothing, housing, gas, insurance, and all of the things that aren’t free. I have to do it all, and it’s a ton of pressure (and work). Getting sick is not ideal, and I fight like hell to stay well. So, when I fall victim to a mean ol’ mom-sucking virus, it throws my whole world off-kilter. I’m glad that this is a 3-day weekend, and my crew still has one more day to rest and recoup before we start grinding out another semester. It was such a joy to see my baybees cruising around on their bikes today. I’m so glad that they’re doing better, but holy cow, am I happy that I’m feeling better! I have to be well, you guys. I don’t have a choice.

#robitussin #sick #wellness #moms #motherhood #drmom #chestboogers

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© 2023 by Kelly Stone: Sex Educator. Comedian. Baby Momma. Proudly created with Wix.com
kellystonecomedy@gmail.com

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Kelly

Stone