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I Read this Blog to my friend on the phone, and she said it's good, so... PUSSY POWER!


It’s been 11 weeks. I’ve missed 11 Sundays of blogging, and every single week it makes me feel worse about myself that I’m not living up to my potential, my goals, my COMMITMENTS!

Also, I should tell you now that the “t” key on my keyboard is sticky and acting all mad at me cuz my kids are not nice to my laptop. I just went back and added a ton of t’s, but I’ll prolly miss some in the course of typing this blog, and right now, I don’t really care. The point is, I’m writing SOMEHING!

THE MARTIAN MOMMY BLOG IS RESURRECTED!

ON EASTER!

So, I am bringing it back from the dead, but instead of 3 days, it’s been 11 weeks. I’ve been working and doing a lot of radio shows and comedy shows and taking my kids to do cool stuff and paddling and enjoying my wonderful relationship with my boyfriend and NOT BLOGGING. I don’t want to feel bad about it, but I do, and today, I want to feel good. I want to feel confident. I want to feel calm. I want to feel accomplished. Maybe this is a start. I dunno.

Every week that I’ve missed a blog, I’ve thought…well, I’ll just write two blogs next week…that’s okay, I’ll write 5…okay, this week, I’ll do one each day of the week…and that thought process has just gotten overwhelming and simply isn’t going to happen.

Today, is Easter, and for all intents and purposes, it’s about new beginnings. So, in that spirit, I wanna get some things out of my head and my heart and onto the internet.

Did you know that this week was the Buddhist New Year? And Passover? And the Pink Moon? And I had my period? And I had an interview that could modify my living arrangements and lifestyle for a couple of years (or not)? Well, all of those things happened THIS WEEK! And today…Today, is my prelim night in the Funniest Person in Austin contest. Most of you don’t care about this contest or even know that it’s going on, and I kind of want to be in that boat with you. I almost didn’t even sign up this year. I happened to see a post on FB from Mehone (who has already advanced BTW to the semi’s in this contest) asking about the deadline to sign up. The forms were due at midnight, and it was 9 pm when I saw the post. I texted one of my comedy gf’s in NOLA and asked if I should even bother entering this year. She responded with, “How hard is it to apply?” It took me less than 20 min to walk over to fedex kinko’s, print, fill out, and fax the form to Cap City. So, she was right. It was minimal effort. And now here I am, in the contest, feeling all the feels that I was considering foregoing this year. You see, FPIA (as the contest is called) is a big deal in ATX. It sort of establishes the annual who’s who in Austin comedy and assigns a bit of pecking order for comics based on the outcomes of the decisions of 4-5 judges (along with club input) based on one-shot, 6 minute performances. It’s a contest. People win. People don’t win. The club decides the order of the line-up of performers, and they usually place the people they know are good comics into the better spots in the line-up. This makes for a great show for the audience, and it’s a great way to expose people to lots of different styles of comedy. It’s also very stressful. There’s this weird energy from the comics competing that night. There’s a different energy from the comics who’ve already competed. There’s also the ones who haven’t gone up in the prelims yet, and they’ve got a high vibrational energy wave going on too. The contest is long (like about 2 months), and it can be emotional. I’ve done it 5 times, I think. I’ve never advanced to the semi’s, but I’ve gotten that dang alternate position a few times. (It’s like 4th place and only 1st-3rd advances to the semis.) The alternate, or “Fan Favorite”, designation put competitors in a separate online competition with a chance of getting into the semis (or finals like they did that one year) after they win the most online votes through hounding their friends for clicks and votes each day for a whole week. It’s exhausting and feels, well, weird. As a San Martian in a zip code that still allows me to compete in the Austin contest without actually residing in Austin, I am an outsider. Austin is my closest comedy market and is the city that I claim when I go to comedy fests and whatnot, but I tend to get more paying gigs and guest spots in cities other than Austin. I like doing the contest because I know that I’m going to have a great set in front of a big, excited, and engaged audience, and I’m going to get a great tape out of it. (My tape from FPIA is usually what helps me get bookings or accepted into fests.) I don’t like doing the contest because it makes me feel gross and inferior and stressed and not good enough and, to be honest, pretty worthless. I hate feeling that way. And it usually takes me a bit to recover. I’m not exactly sure what I wanted to convey to you as you’re reading this, and I think this is more about me expressing my feelings and getting a friggin’ blog out onto paper. Sorry if you feel like I’ve wased your time. Oof. See? It’s already starting. Bleh. I’ve been working on new material since last year’s contest. I like it a lot. It’s been doing well. It’s very feminist and smart and true to my voice, and tonight, I’m putting that out here to be judged. That feels gross. But exciting. And I guess we’ll see what happens. I mean, I’ve written a blog today. I bet I can accomplish some other things today too. So, Happy Easter, Happy Ishtar, Happy Pink Moon, Happy Passover, Happy New Year, Happy Menses, Happy FPIA! I’m channeling all that energy into my lady comedy jokes tonight, and I’m gonna have a great time on stage. Thanks for listening.

#jesus #easter #fpia #comedy #contest #ishtar #pinkmoon #periods #feminism #pussiesunite #sisterhood #motherhood #titties #resurrection #erecion

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© 2023 by Kelly Stone: Sex Educator. Comedian. Baby Momma. Proudly created with Wix.com
kellystonecomedy@gmail.com

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Kelly

Stone