• Kelly Stone

Dear Spectrum,

Dear Spectrum,


I absolutely love the feature you offer through your app that allows me to turn off Wi-Fi access for my boys' devices.


It's Magic!


Right now, my teenage children are standing together, conversing, and laughing as they work as a team to wash all the dishes in the sink. And boy are there a lot of dishes to wash! I've been cooking their meals and preparing their snacks all weekend. I even made Tik-Tok while serving them pizza!


Well, Spectrum, your app with the magical powers kicked-in right at bedtime, and the very first thing they did was start washing the dishes—

They're hoping I'll turn the Wi-Fi back on when they wash them all. What incredible initiative! Thanks, Spectrum.



With the service you provide, it allows my family to NOT use your service! I'm able to regulate their screen time and not have a little blue screen ‘helping’ them go to sleep in their room during which time that I'm curled up mouth-breathing and doom-scrolling under the covers in my room.


But, never mind my hypocrisy, Spectrum. The point is that my dishes are getting done right now, and I have you to thank for it. It's almost like YOU are actually doing my dishes, Spectrum! If it weren't for your app, I wouldn't be able to stop my boys from over-using the internet.


I mean, yes, I could simply turn the modem and router off, but then I couldn't over-use the internet while my dishes are being done!



Spectrum, I can still hear them laughing and engaging all brotherly in the kitchen. One of them is saying, “This looks like somebody wiped their booty-hole with this!" And the other one is saying, “ Mmmmm…chocolate!" I have no idea what they're washing. I haven't made anything with chocolate this weekend.


Oop, now they broke a bowl!


That's okay, at least it's a real bowl and not one of those virtual bowls on the Oculus right now. You helped make this happen, Spectrum. Thanks for doing my dishes. I’ll give ‘em a little extra interweb tomorrow. Oh, can I have my introductory rate back? XOXO,



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